


to seek the greater sea

by weatheredlaw



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Mermaids, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2019-01-19 12:56:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12410712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weatheredlaw/pseuds/weatheredlaw
Summary: Davenport goes to sea to find himself, but winds up with a lot more than he bargained for.





	to seek the greater sea

**Author's Note:**

> my brain's all wired up today, idk. based on [this art](http://dabnport.tumblr.com/post/166316671289/okay-but-hear-me-out-on-thismerman-merle-and) by tumblr user dabnport. enjoy!

_My soul and I went to the great sea to bathe._  
_And when we reached the shore, we went about_  
_looking for a hidden and lonely place._

 

* * *

 

To whom did he matter, a captain without a crew? Davenport stood at the bow of his little ship, alone in the world, and in name – just a solitary captain, clutching a rope in one hand, a bottle of whiskey in the other. He took a swig, and called out, “ _I see you! Do your worst!_ ” but the ocean did not answer. Not in any way you or I could understand. But Davenport knew. She railed against him, flooded the deck of his ship. The winds ripped through his sails, and all the while he stood, clutching a rope and a bottle, staring down the sea.

If this was going to be his lot in life, he would embrace it all. The good and the bad.

And he'd do it drunk when he could.

 

* * *

 

The morning finally came, and he was alone, still – even his bottle was gone. Davenport's head pounded, but he managed to get himself up and survey the damage. It was nothing he couldn't fix on his own, so he cleaned himself up and fixed coffee in his cabin as best he could before climbing the mast to work on one of the sails.

In hindsight, he should have waited. He was hungover, he was exhausted, and he really _shouldn't_ have been fixing these things on his own. Help would have been preferable. A damn _crew_ would have been ideal. But he had rejected those things in favor of solitude, and so he'd pay the price for this. Even if that price was missing a step and going tumbling into the sea.

He hit the water _painfully_ , and his vision went black. _No, no, no_ – he opened his mouth and water rushed in. A _stupid_ thing to do, a stupid thing for a gnome born at sea to even _think_ of doing. He spun and looked for the surface, looked for the light of the sun. He angled himself up and began to kick, but his lungs were _burning._

He was _Captain Davenport_ and he was going to _drown_.

And then – a pair of steady hands gripped his waist. Davenport tried to get away, but they held on tighter. Whatever this thing was, it was going to drag him down, he didn't have time to suss out if it was friend or foe –

and then they broke the surface. The thing _wasn't_ going to kill him.

Not on purpose at least. He was tossed onto his ship and he went rolling, spitting up water and nearly bashing his head against the mast. Davenport heaved and choked, reaching out to grip the mast for support. He was _alive._ He'd survived his own bad decisions yet again.

“Hey, you're still alive!”

Davenport looked up. A man's was resting on his elbows along the edge of the boat, watching him with a smile. “I, uh...”

“You shouldn't sail alone if you can't swim.”

“ _I can swim!_ ” Davenport snarled. “And I can _sail_ , too. I can do both just fine, and I can do _both_ on my own.”

The man lifted his hands. “Okay, okay, just checkin'. But, seriously, it's dangerous out here alone. What're you _doin'?_ ”

“I'm...I'm sailing. Are you _shirtless?_ ”

“Uh, yeah.”

“You're dangling off my ship. Stop that.” Davenport stood. “I appreciate that you've saved my life, but as a captain in the imperial fleet I'm ordering you to come aboard.”

The man chuckled. “Well, if you insist.” With a single push, he launched himself onto the ship –

Davenport stared.

“I mean I was fine down there, you know. Now it's just awkward.”

“You're...”

“Yep.” He flicked his tail. “Mermaid. Or man. Whatever's easier for you to say.”

“Holy shit.”

“Listen, I appreciate your shock and awe, but can I get a name or something?”

Davenport swallowed. “I'm, uh, I'm Davenport. Captain Davenport.”

“Great! I'm Merle.”

Davenport blinked. “... _Merle?_ You're a merman and your name is _Merle?_ ”

“Well what were you expecting?”

“Not _Merle._ ”

Merle in question huffed. “Well fine. Next time you need saving because you climbed a mast with no support and tumbled into the water, maybe _Merle_ won't be there.”

Davenport sighed. “No, no, wait. I'm sorry. You just...you surprised me. That's all. I didn't realize that you were...real.”

“Well, most folks don't.” Merle sighed. “It's a gift and a curse.” He paused. “Eh, it's mostly a gift. Can't really say it'd be a _good_ thing if you and your _imperial fleet_ all knew we were the real deal. Probably cause more harm than good. I'm already in for it if someone figures out I snatched ya.”

Davenport frowned. “Why?”

“Oh, you know, just a sort of oceanwide policy of not interfering in surface dweller shit. You guys make stupid decisions.”

“Not _all_ the time.”

Merle laughed and folded his arms over his chest. His _tail_ flicked and the sun reflected on the scales. “Alright. Name one good choice you've made since you sailed out here on your own.”

“ _I_ \--” Davenport tried to make a list. “...Point taken.”

“See?” Merle glanced up. “Alright, I can't stay here long. I gotta head back. Listen, I don't need trouble for myself, alright? You stay sober and on two feet, and _maybe_ get some help, and I won't need to rescue you again. We can part ways and we can both pretend this never happened.”

Davenport blinked. “Wait. I'll never see you again?”

“Probably not. Can't say I'm disappointed, but can't say I'm thrilled either.” Merle winked. “You're not so bad looking when you're not brooding.”

“I wasn't _brooding_ \--”

“And there it is again. Stay safe, captain.” Merle gripped the edge of the boat and dove back into the water. Davenport ran to the edge to catch him waving up as he swam deeper and deeper into the water, and further and further away.

 

* * *

 

_Captain's log, day twelve:_

~~_Today I met a merman._ ~~

_Today I tried to repair the ship and fell overboard. ~~I was rescued by a merman.~~ I managed to pull myself back onto the ship. ~~The merman was a big help.~~_

 

* * *

 

 ~~~~“Hey there, captain!”

Davenport looked up, and found a merman dangling over the side of his ship again. “Merle!”

“I know, big surprise.”

“You said you couldn't come back.”

“I can't, technically, but you lost something when you fell in.”

Davenport blinked. “...I did?”

“Sure.” Merle held up a pocket watch attached to a long chain. “This belong to you?”

Davenport snatched it back. “It does! It's mine, I hadn't even realized--” He stared at the watch and swallowed. “This was my father's, but I hadn't realized I was wearing it--”

Merle rested a chin in his hand. “Sorry you lost it.”

“No, it's fine. I feel like such a fool, I can't _believe..._ ” He sat down close to the edge of the ship. “Thank you,” he managed. “Thank you for returning this.”

“Well, I figured you'd want it, you know, it being yours and everything.” Merle glanced around. “You fixed her up.”

“Yeah.” Davenport looked at him. “I finally got everything sorted.”

“That's good.” Merle sighed. “So why're you out here?”

Davenport raised a brow. “Aren't you supposed to leave me alone? Some kind of rule?”

Merle shrugged. “Might surprise you, but most folks don't pay a lot of attention to me. And you could at least answer my damn questions after I saved your life.”

“Alright, _alright._ That's fair.” Davenport turned the watch over in his hand. Truthfully it hadn't worked in years, so its now waterlogged state wasn't a complete disaster, and he had enough skill to open it up and fix it. “I'm, uh. Getting away from things.”

“Okay.”

“I...went through some things. I need to be alone.”

“Understandable.”

Davenport snorted. “You don't even know what happened--”

“Don't need to. If you say you needed space, you needed space.” Merle glanced around. “Middle of the ocean sure is a good place to start.”

“Yeah, well, I _thought_ I was getting some isolation. Turns out I'm surrounded by mermaids.”

“ _Hey._ ” Merle pointed. “You could do way worse than mermaids.”

Davenport smiled. “You're right, I suppose. No one's going to believe me anyway,” he added. “If I even tell them.”

“Yeah, maybe keep this to yourself.”

Davenport leaned a little closer. “So like a secret.”

“Sure. Between you and me and the ocean.”

“Alright.” Davenport folded his arms over his chest. “I like that idea. It's good.”

 

* * *

 

Merle came back every few days. He would say he could only stay for a while, that he really, _really_ wasn't supposed to be there – but Davenport found they could spend a few hours together, talk about almost anything, and still, he found himself wanting...just a bit more.

His boat had moved, but Merle still managed to find him. Wherever he came from, it was big, he said, and hard to describe.

“I'm really not _allowed_ to tell you what it looks like.”

“Yes, you've mentioned that.”

“And you know something else--”

A splash sounded from behind him and someone whistled. “ _Oh my gosh._ ”

Merle turned around, looking a little panicked, and splashed back into the water.

Two other mermen were at the surface, one treading with ease, the other with his elbows propped on a rock. “Merle, you _sneaky-sneak!_ ”

“Uh, hey guys.”

“Oh my gosh, is that a boat? Is that a human person's boat?”

“I'm a _gnome_ ,” Davenport said.

“Better!” The merman who was tread gave his tail a lazy flick and pulled himself up onto the boat. “Merle, you didn't tell us you'd made a friend!”

“That's because it's a _no-go._ ” The merman on the rock rolled onto his back, shielding his face from the son. “Against the rules, not approved, violation of section Eris-B of the Old Sea Book of Rituals, Laws, and Proper Behavior.” He glanced over. “Merle, you're kind of a badass.”

Davenport looked between them. “Is everything okay?”

“Uh, yeah.” Merle cleared his throat. “Dav, this is Magnus--” The merman on the edge of the boat waved. “And that's Taako.”

“Yo, what's up?”

“They're my friends.”

“Good friends,” Magnus said, “who didn't know you'd made a _new_ friend. And a gnome! I love gnomes, gnomes are great!”

“You love everyone on the surface,” Taako said dryly. “You think they're all amazing and wonderful.”

“They are!”

“It's because of that girl he met, what was her name? Jessica? Jenny?”

Magnus's expression darkened. “ _Julia._ ”

“Julia, _right._ ” Taako dove into the water and came up next to the boat. His hair remained flawless. Davenport realized with a jolt that they were all pretty flawless. Magnus had expertly carved muscles. Taako's hair and skin and bone structure were beautiful. And Merle was – well he was almost criminally handsome, his beard elegantly streaked with grey, his arms sculpted and –

“Yo, gnome-man, you okay?”

“Sorry. It's just...a lot.”

“Yeah.” Taako flicked his tail. “We're pretty impressive.” He glanced at Merle. “Hey, you know you should really head back, right? The priestess was looking for you. We lied and said you were mapping the canyon, but that's Barry's job and he can only cover for you so many times.”

Merle sighed. “Right, yeah. Thanks guys.”

“No problem,” Magnus said brightly. “Hey, gnome-guy.”

“It's Captain Davenport,” Merle said. “Jeez, learn some names, Mags.”

“Captain Davenport! Cap'n Port!”

“I don't like that,” Davenport said.

“I _love_ it.” Magnus gave him a wave. “See ya around, Cap'n Port!”

“Yeah, stay handsome,” Taako said with a wink. They dove back in and disappeared.

Merle sighed. “Well. I should go.”

“Yeah...” Davenport looked down. “Hey, you don't...have to keep doing this. I'm okay out here.”

“You're alone.”

“Well...that's okay.” He tried to smile. It probably didn't work. “I've...been alone for a long time.”

Merle sighed. “You're breakin' my heart, Dav.”

“No, no! It's okay, really! I'm used to it.”

Merle sighed. “Yeah, well. I don't like it.”

“I think you're going to have to like it. Your friends seemed pretty serious.”

“Yeah that's because--” Another splash sounded behind him, and Magnus's face appeared.

“Merle, we gotta _go._ ”

“Alright, alright. I'll--” He turned back to Davenport. “Look, I'll see you again, alright? I promise.”

“Merle--”

“I _promise._ ” And with a shove he fell into the water, and disappeared into the dark.

 

* * *

 

It was weeks before he saw Merle again, but he was happy when he did.

“You came back!”

“Yeah, I think I stuck around long enough so folks won't ask too many questions.”

“That's great.”

“You moved your boat!”

“Yeah, just to the next port over. I'm thinking of heading home soon.”

“Oh. Well, if that'll make you happy.”

Davenport shrugged. “I don't know what'll make me happy.” _I'm happy when I see you_ , he almost said. But that was strange. Merle was an unknown, and, until recently, mythical. He couldn't just say things like that.

“Well I hope you find it.”

“Yeah. So do I.” He sighed. “So you're not going to get in trouble?”

“Probably not today. They've cracked down a little since, uh...well.” He looked down. “I mean since Magnus and Julia...”

“Oh wow.”

“Yeah, it was a big thing. Magnus got in some real trouble. Some of the priestesses said if he didn't stop seeing her they'd, um--”

“They'd _kill her?_ ”

“What? No? Jeez, that's such surface dweller crap. No, they said they'd wipe her memories. Honestly, they're probably going to do that to them both. Magnus shouldn't have done that. He put her life in danger.”

“...Are you putting my life in danger?”

“No, of course not.” Merle looked at him. “Magnus fell in love. When that happens, things get dangerous. A man can get desperate. He wanted to be with her, he tried to get Taako to help him, but Taako thought it wasn't safe. They kept trying some things, kept looking. Eventually...they got caught. Magnus and Taako shouldn't have even been here that day, but things have calmed down.”

“So they won't wipe his memory.”

“...They probably will. He talks about her all the time. He got caught trying to see her just a few days ago. Taako thinks they're going to. No one likes it, but it's probably for the best.”

“...And Julia?”

Merle shrugged. “They could have done it already for all I know.”

“Merle.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you...are they going to--”

“No, I told you, it was different. Magnus fell in love. We're...we're not in love.”

 

* * *

 

Sometimes Merle would come by and tell him stories about what it was like, living so far below. How beautiful the city was.

“Thought you couldn't tell me details.”

“Well, I can tell you a few.”

Davenport would lay back and stare up at the stars.

“That's one thing you get, you know,” Merle said.

“What?”

“Constellations. I only see 'em when I'm up here. And lately, that's just been to...to see you.” He glanced over. “You're kinda like a constellation of my own, I guess.”

“Yeah. I guess.” Davenport felt Merle's hand reach out and nudge him.

“Dav?”

“What?”

“I, uh...I'm glad you fell into the ocean.”

Davenport laughed. “Are you?”

“Yeah. It's been a long time since I've met someone like you. Actually, I don't think I have ever.”

Davenport nodded. “Same here.”

“First merman?”

“Yep. You're my first merman.”

Merle chuckled. “Glad to help.”

 

* * *

 

_Captains log, day thirty-seven:_

~~_I've gone and fallen in love with the merman._ ~~

 

* * *

 

 ~~~~A week or so passed between one visit and another. When Merle showed up again, he couldn't seem to meet Davenport's gaze, and his hands...they trembled.

“Mere--”

“Listen, Dav. You...you go where you need to go, alright?”

“Alright.”

Merle reached out and took his hand. “I don't know what happened to you, but I'm sorry that it did. I hope you found some peace out here.”

“That sounds a lot like...like goodbye.”

“I think it is.” Merle sighed. “I can't...risk them doing anything to you. They're asking questions, and I can't risk forgetting you. I know it hasn't been long, but I...I do feel something. It's there, and it's enough to make me reckless.”

Davenport leaned closer. “I know. Me, too.”

“You can't forget, and if I forget you then...well I won't know, but the idea of it makes me sick. You and me...we were meant to stay apart.”

“You saved me,” Davenport murmured.

Merle smiled. “Yeah. And I'm glad I did. You were worth that trouble.” He reached out and cupped Davenport's cheek. “If I go and I don't come back, you'll always remember me.”

“And you'll...always remember me.”

Merle nodded. “Yeah. Yeah I will.”

“Will you...will you just--”

Merle pulled them closer together. “Yes,” he said.

And then they kissed.

Davenport hadn't been kissed in so long. He hadn't kissed anyone, hadn't touched anyone, hadn't _wanted_ anyone – and here he was, falling for someone who shouldn't have even existed.

And it was already over.

When Merle pulled away, Davenport followed, lips trailing after him, kissing him again and again.

“I gotta go--”

“Sail away with me,” Davenport said. “ _Please._ ”

“I can't do that. I have a responsibility to my people. I have duties.”

Davenport shook his head. “They would erase us. How can you want to stay there?”

“Please.” Merle clutched his hands. “Please don't make me leave you like this.”

“You said Magnus was in love. Well _I'm_ in love.”

Merle shook his head. “You can't. We have to stop.”

“You came back to me. You kept coming, kept wanting to see me.” Davenport clung to him. “We can do this, it can work--”

“It can't. I won't let you be stranded at sea. I love you, I do. That's why I have to go.”

“ _Merle, no_ \--”

Another kiss. Stolen. Davenport's heart _ached._

“I'm sorry,” Merle said. “I am.”

Davenport trembled. “All of my men. They died.”

Merle frowned. “...What?”

“You asked why I was here. My crew. They drowned. Something pulled our ship into the sea and I was the only one who survived. I was their captain and I _lived_ and they didn't. Do you know what that's like?”

“...I don't.”

“I was ashamed. I _am ashamed._ I left my post, I bought this boat and I left everything behind because how could I ever have another crew again? _That's_ something worth forgetting. That's something I want to...to _scour_ from my mind, forget it ever happened. But I _can't_. Magnus fell in love, but it's okay that he'll forget her?”

“I can't help the way it works.”

Davenport sunk to his knees. “I want this. I want you. I want to be at sea, alone, just us, for as long as the gods will allow.”

“...But you have to go back.”

He nodded. “I do.”

“You have responsibilities.”

Davenport looked up. “I have duties.” He reached out. Merle reached back. “So this...this really is goodbye.”

“It is.”

“I wish it weren't.”

Merle nodded. “I know.”

“I wish I could go with you.”

“Me, too.”

Davenport leaned forward again, pressed his lips carefully to Merle's. Another kiss. Gentler this time.

“You won't forget me,” he said.

Merle shook his head. “I won't.”

Davenport nodded. “I won't forget you either. I'll always remember you.”

“Be good to yourself, Dav. You deserve a happy life. You deserve a good ending.” He gave him one last kiss – and then he disappeared into the sea.

 

* * *

 

It felt good to go back to being a captain, for real this time. It felt good to have a ship, and a crew. Davenport knew it would take time for things to go back to some semblance of how they were, though they would never really be the same.

But that was alright. He wasn't the same either.

Sometimes he thought he saw the flick of a familiar tail. He once swore he saw Magnus and Taako in a crowd, but that couldn't have been right. And he thought – he thought he heard Merle's voice everywhere. It was only a few months out of his life, but he'd been changed, irrevocably.

There was among his crew about fantastic creatures, once. They all bickered over mermaids and sea creatures, until someone, said, “Oi! The captain ought to settle them. Captain Davenport!” He looked toward them. “You think there's mermaids in these waters?”

Davenport smiled. He looked out onto the sea.

“Oh, I don't know,” he said. “I think it's best to keep an open mind about these things.” He turned and gave his crew a wink. “You never know what you may find.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> title and lines from "the greater sea" by kahlil gibran.  
> tumblr @ weatheredlaw


End file.
